3 Reasons Racists Should Hate the Alleged Philly Nazi Cop

You’ve seen it by now, surely, after Philadeliquency and Philly Antifa pushed the story on Facebook. Philly Police Officer Ian Lichterman is apparently (allegedly) a fan of Nazi body art.

photo: Evan Matthews (Facebook)
photo: Evan Matthews (Facebook)

Or celebrating his German heritage, depending on what fuckwit you’re talking to.

Cue the #RageBonerz! Listen to Frankford and Cottman erupt in impotent rage! So what if Lichterman is (allegedly) a Nazi? He’s got first amendment rights! BLUE LIVES MATTER!

Shut up. If you’re a closet racist, you should be even more pissed that a Philly PD Officer chooses to decorate himself with white nationalist bullshit.

“Why?” you ask, probably while half-nodded out on my front step with a skunk Bud Ice tallboy in your hand, stinking of piss and body odor.

3. He’s Fucking Stupid

If Lichterman is indeed a racist, then we’ve discovered that — OMIGOD — there’s a bigoted Philly Police Officer. Well no shit.

There are lots of racist cops. There are racist SEPTA drivers, too. There’s an army of old Polish church ladies in Port Richmond right now who’d lynch a Russian on sight.

There’s a fuck ton of bigotry everywhere you go, especially in Philly. This city operates on baseline irrational hatred even without race thrown into the equation.

Lichterman just fucked up by putting his beliefs on his arm, while on duty. Cops can get away with a lot of shit, as Philadeliquency pointed out in a post concerning their union, but c’mon bro. Nazi eagles and iron crosses? How dumb do you have to be?

While I prefer that my cops not be white supremacists, if they are going to be racist, I’d like them to have a little more tact about it.

So, closeted Philly racists — and don’t even say you’re not, I know your type very well — you should focus your #RageBonerz on Lichterman, not the people pointing him out. He could have gone right along racisting (not a word) his way through the city with his badge on, doing whatever it is white supremacists do while on their beat, with nary an Anti-Fascist there to fuck up his Instagram account.

One of your own outed himself through sheer stupidity.

2. He’s Making YOU Look Stupid

C’mon guys, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I didn’t even get mad when you pissed yourself while sitting on my front step with that tallboy.

We probably even had JUG together in North once! #Friendz

But man, when you go on Facebook and publicly defend this dude, you look like an ass. And by “defend” I don’t mean saying we shouldn’t rush to judge Lichterman, which is why I keep saying he’s “allegedly” a white supremacist.

No, by “defend” I mean pulling the “He’s just celebrating his heritage!” horseshit out of your butt.

Or worse, when you call people like Mr. Philadeliquency a “liberal race baiter!” (Mr. Philadeliquency’s head probably comes close to exploding every time a crusty neighborhood Trump voter calls him a liberal.)

There’s nothing liberal or race-baiting about pointing out a Nazi tattoo on a cop’s arm. If anything, the cop in question is probably the race baiter. If I get “BLACK PEOPLE SUCK!” tattooed on my massive, massive forehead, you are not race-baiting if you point it out.

I would be the race baiter. See the difference? I am literally trying to get a racial reaction out of you. And I’m sorry, I hope this is all a misunderstanding and Lichterman doesn’t have a racist #RageBoner in his body, but if a cop is going to put Nazi imagery on his arm, he’s probably trying to get a reaction out of people.

Which he did. Today. Now we all think he’s (allegedly) a dick.

And it’s all so obvious! Which, dear racist fellows, makes you guys look incredibly dumb when you defend him. Not because you’re racist, though. It would make perfect sense for you to crawl out of your wee little bigoted shells and say, “I’m racist as fuck and I support the Nazi cops of the city!”

But you’re not saying that. What you ARE saying is that you’re super duper not racist and neither is Lichterman, and hey, maybe he isn’t, BUT HE HAS A FUCKIN’ NAZI EAGLE AND AN IRON CROSS TATTOOED ON HIS ARM.

It’s evidence that a Philly cop may be an open racist, which should probably preclude him from the job. And if you little buggers don’t know, evidence is what cops use. See, Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines “evidence” as…you know what, fuck it.

1. You Should REALLY Be Mad If You Hate Black Lives Matter

Like, so super mad, and not just because you lack the ability to use context and critical thinking skills when someone says, “Hey, black lives matter,” and you take it as an affront to your existence.

What Lichterman (allegedly) did by showcasing his (allegedly) Nazi tattoos was give Black Lives Matter an example of THE MAIN THING THEY’RE MAD ABOUT, which is a racist cop.

The people with whom you disagree the most now have an (allegedly!) shining example of accepted bigotry in the Philadelphia Police Department, because if Lichterman is a bigot who walks around showing off his bigoted tattoos, that means other cops know about it.

Up to and including his commanding officers and the union.

Which means Black Lives Matter is right, specifically on the issue of racism within the ranks of a police department and the department’s inability, or unwillingness, to purge it from their operation.

So there you have it. The man you’re rallying behind may just give your political enemies a legislative advantage at some point, because if you don’t think this (alleged!!!) Nazi Cop and the way the department handles him are going to influence voters, you’re even dumber than I thought.

Added Bonus For The Inevitable “Anti-Cop” Comments:

I love cops, and not in the way you love black people because of that one black friend you had who totally said it was cool for you to say the n-word all the time.

I love cops because I’ve worked closely with them. I’m an emergency medical technician, and I’ve had cops save my butt. Cops took over ventilating a patient in respiratory arrest so I could take a moment to stretch my legs. I’ve done CPR with cops. A Pennsylvania State Trooper body slammed an angry drunk coming at me while I was putting an oxygen mask on his friend. A Bethlehem City Officer drove the ambulance while the medics and I tried bringing a guy back to life, and the cop was even polite enough to apologize when he cut a turn too harshly while I was doing chest compressions, causing me to fall right on top of a (smelly, fat, and very naked) dead guy.

I love cops even though I’ve been the victim of police brutality, because my cousin is a cop now and he used to kick my ass when we were kids. (Yeah, it’s retroactive police brutality, but it still counts.)

So on that topic, go fuck yourself.

Also, hey, PhillyNeighbor’s back? I don’t know.