Even If Weed Becomes Legal, You Still Can’t Smoke It

I don’t know why everyone is so optimistic about the growing movement to legalize the recreational use of weed in Pennsylvania. Even if it’s legal, you’re still taking a big risk by smoking it.

I know, all the happy hippies are still cheering about Colorado’s legalized dope. Here in PA we can see public opinion leaning further to legalization, as there’s a bipartisan bill proposed to legalize pot for medical use which might pave the way for legalized recreational use.

But having the government legalize pot, or any other drug, doesn’t mean you can use it freely. Even if I lived in Colorado I’d still be nervous about smoking up.

Why? Well, my fellow degenerates, your employer will still totally have the right to fire the shit out of you if you decide to light up. Oh yeah, the hippies didn’t tell you, did they? You can still get fucking fired in Colorado if you drop hot piss.

“Oh no!” said the hippies. “But weed is legal there, they can’t do that!”

Except they absolutely can. Employers still reserve the right to drug test you for pretty much whatever they want.

Case in point: Cigarettes are totally legal. That doesn’t mean any employer can’t reserve the right to check your piss – or your hair – for traces of nicotine. I’ve even encountered employers who not only check for nicotine, but make sure applicants haven’t had it in their system for six months.

That means they’ll deny you employment if you were a smoker and quit using nicotine patches. Or if you got tired of the ol’ ashy lungs and switched to an e-cig. Still has nicotine in it, so you’re fucked.

This has nothing to do with morals, by the way, and everything to do with liability. If you’re a forklift driver and you crash your forklift after smoking pot three weeks ago, chances are your employer’s insurance company will deny them coverage for any damages.

As for the nicotine tests, well, your employer can see black lungs, missed time, and you eating up your health benefits in the future.

So don’t get excited over legalized pot unless you work some shit job at Wal-Mart…oh wait, they drug test too.

Ah well. We should all be used to this by now. The government can get as open-minded and liberal as we want, but until we have some true privacy rights guarding us from the whims of our buzz-kill bosses, you’re not really free.