I’m a hockey fan from Philly, so of course I bleed Orange and Black. (And the morning after drinking beers at a corner bar watching a Flyers game, I’ve often puked Orange and Black.)
Any Philly hockey fan can remember our greatest players. The Broad Street Bullies, most obviously, plus Brian Propp, Mark Recchi, the Legion of Doom. But it’s always easy to remember the star players.
Me? As much as I loved growing up watching Eric Lindros and now watching Claude Giroux, my favorite Flyers have always been those easily forgotten third liners and goons, the kind of players who either barely make the NHL or spend their careers as journeymen.
So here are some rather obscure Flyers who, in my humble opinion, were fucking awesome (or at least interesting). Keep in mind, these are just players that I remember watching. There are plenty more who wore the Orange and Black way before I was even born. If you remember any, go to the Facebook page and let me know.
Keith Jones – Probably the least obscure player on my short list, at least to hockey fans. Keith Jones was a grinder who found himself on a line with Eric Lindros and John Leclair, however briefly, notching 18 goals in the ’98-’99 season.
But Jonesy’s offensive prowess wasn’t nearly as entertaining as his other attributes. Check out Jones’ cheap shot on Slava Fetisov, which leads to Fetisov getting a penalty when he retaliates. Awesome.
More interesting than his stats, though, was the night he found Eric Lindros dying in a bathtub after a game against the Nashville Predators. Sure, yeah, Keith Jones likely saved Lindros’ life. But it begs the question…why would Keith Jones casually walk into the bathroom while Lindros was taking a bath?
Sneaking into Big E’s five-hole, are we Jonesy? (Cheap gay joke, bam!)
Trent Klatt – Another grinder who ended up filling Mikael Renberg’s spot on the old Legion of Doom line, Klatt scored a career-high goals playing right wing with Lindros and John Leclair. He enjoyed a few uneventful seasons with the Canucks and LA Kings after four years with the Flyers and is, to me anyway, best remembered for banging my friend’s mom.
I think it was his mom. Possibly his aunt. I can’t really be sure and I don’t want to call him now, after not speaking to him for years, just to ask him if it was his mother or his aunt who banged Trent Klatt. And by the way, I totally believed him when he told me. It wasn’t like he was saying she sucked off Bobby Clarke at a bus stop. Of all the Flyers who supposedly fucked his mother, Trent Klatt doesn’t seem to be the most obvious if you’re making the whole thing up.
Anyway, here’s Klatt murdering Brian Leetch. All of our mothers should give it up to any Flyer who murders a New York Ranger like this.
Jody Hull – Best remembered by Philadelphia fans for making us all totally excited the first time we saw the back of his jersey because we all thought – for one jubilantly short moment – that we somehow landed Brett Hull.
But no. It was just Jody Hull. Good ol’ Jody Hull. This was in the ’98-’99, during a time when we all didn’t have constant internet updates.
Ah, God damn it. I still remember that night. “Is that fucking Brett Hull!?”
No. It was just Jody Hull. God damn it. I Googled his name. Google said, “Did you mean Brett Hull?”
No. I meant Jody Hull. Follow this link to see his career highlights.
Riley Cote – Now retired, Riley Cote is the most recent player on the list. He was one of the most terrifying looking Flyers to ever step on the ice.
Despite the terror-inducing scowl and the obvious fact that this guy looks like he will literally eat your children, Cote was reportedly one of the nicest guys ever, at least one of the nicest guys who could also kill you easily.
He played four seasons with the Flyers, scoring one goal and six assists during his career. Riley Cote and his hot-as-hell girlfriend are both awesome for adding me on Myspace back in 2008 after I sent a long, awful, pitiful message in which I begged them to add me and also offered to buy the beers if they ever stopped in Fishtown.
Riley Cote might not have been the most skilled enforcer, but he was a mean motherfucker to say the least. With the modern NHL bitchily phasing enforcers out of the game, old school pugilists like Riley Cote are a dying breed. Watch him kick ass.
Brantt Myhers – Brantt Myhers played a whopping 23 games for the Flyers back in the ’97-98 season and, like Riley Cote, was apparently a blood-obsessed serial puncher who might have beaten the shit out of random people on the street had he not become a hockey player.
Also, Mr. Myhers is a shining example of how Canadians can take a relatively simple name and spell it in the most insane manner possible.
But what makes Brantt Myhers one awesome motherfucker has very little to do with how many points he scored or fights he won. Myhers is one of the few former NHL players who has spilled the beans on the pill popping culture among tough guys in the league. Myhers admitted to being addicted to pills for years, a byproduct of going out and getting slammed, hacked, chopped and punched every night.
Because basically, NHL enforcers and tough guys are professional pain sponges. They get rattled around every goddamn night – and are warned by their coaches they can’t afford to miss games – and just to get through the day many need to gobble more painkillers than your average Kenzo doing the K&A shuffle out front of Forman Mills.